"The only courage you ever need is the courage to live the life you want. - Oprah Winfrey": Tracy's Story

I met Tracy through a mutual friend of ours, Brendan. Over the past few months, I have watched her come out of her shell and take on challenges that leave me in awe. I am so happy to have gotten to know her and to have such an inspiring woman in my life. 

*********************************************************************************************************************************

"The only courage you ever need is the courage to live the life you want. - Oprah Winfrey": Tracy's Story

My lovely friend, Merissa, suggested I do a guest blog on her weekly challenges blog, and I kept postponing it. Not because I didn't think it’s a good idea; I couldn't figure out what challenge to even write about it. I didn't have weekly challenges and everything felt like it just gradually happened. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Nothing really stood out the same way as when I read Merissa’s blogs, where it felt like I was in awe at what she was able to accomplish. I knew I’d been challenging myself all year and I’d even been told so. So what would I even talk about? Running a 10k? Getting a tattoo? Swimming in Lake Ontario?

But as I hit the one-year mark of when everything started to change, I realized that the challenge I really gave myself, and I would have to quote Oprah Winfrey for this, is to have the courage to live the life you want. 

I made a resolution a year ago. I told myself that I would take a leap forward into the unknown to find something that works for me. Even if people didn't agree, I was still going to go after what I believe in and stand by it. I might end up with nothing or I might end up with everything, but at least I knew I tried my best and that’s all I can really ask of myself. I started going after the things I wanted and living life with no regret.  Putting complete faith and trust in myself and those around me, and rebuilding relationships that matter the most to me. Letting people in, no matter how scary that sounds. And what a difference it has made! For the first time in a long time, I know what it feels like to feel alive.

So what exactly did I decide to do? Well, I decided to pull out the old bucket list and just start crossing things off because I suddenly realized there was no reason I couldn't do these things now. There’s no one and nothing to stop me from accomplishing my goals.

•        Joining a gym/Running a 10k

 

I joined the gym simply because I was at a point where I just couldn’t sit at home anymore. I was antsy and when I stepped into the gym, I was pretty much intimidated by all the machines. So, I went with the good, old treadmill and just started running. I realized how much I missed running and I just kept running. It was my escape from my world, especially when I just started listening to music. This eventually led to me setting the Sporting Life 10k as my goal. It ended up being an amazing experience! I’m so glad that I did it and that my family showed up to support me. 

•          Getting my ears pierced

So, I finally decided to get my ears pierced for the first time, shortly before the end of 2013. I couldn't figu,re out why I haven’t already done it. I think it was mostly due to me thinking it would be painful. But one day on my day off for the holidays, I decided, 'Screw it! I am getting my ears pierced. I think I can handle the pain."

• Getting a tattoo 

I was proud of getting this tattoo and so thankful that the opportunity came when it did. Otherwise, I don’t think I would have had the courage to walk in there by myself. It sounds ironic, considering that my tattoo means 'brave' or 'courageous'. But it was a much needed reminder for myself to be brave when times are tough and to never lose sight of that feeling. 

• Learning how to ride a bike

I gotta thank my friend being patient. I don’t think I ever would have learned to ride a bike without that much needed assistance. I’ve tried twice before this and both times were basically disasters and made me never want to get on a bike again. I also pretty much had to give myself a pep talk every time I was alone and was trying to pedal on my own for two weeks. But I finally got it and can now start training for a triathlon.

• Swimming in Lake Ontario

I have always loved swimming and it was another thing I got back into this year. So, it was a tough pill to swallow when I tried to do the Toronto Island Lake Swim and couldn't finish the race because I was pretty sure I was going to get hypothermia and have to get someone to pull me out of the water. I had to call it a day but I was thankful that my family was there to support me. And while it was a failure, it made me realize that I need to know my limits and that I can always try again and start small and build my way up.

• Treetop trekking

This is always something that I wanted to do but  did not think I was fit enough to do. However, since I’ve been working out all year (or at least trying to), I figured I would give it a try when my friend suggested I go with her. It was definitely a challenge because I never thought I had good balance. So, imagine my reaction when the first thing I see when I get up there is a nice rope for me to walk on to get to the other side. It was fun though. I survived with a few bruises and a bruised ego, but I would definitely do this again.

• Travelling

One of the hardest things that I had to get used to was travelling on my own, but I was glad I did it. It gave me a sense of independence and made me realize that my feeling of being alone was silly. I can be happy on my own, have fun with my family and friends, and take pride in being independent and gaining new experiences.

In a nutshell, that’s what my year has been like and I know in the coming year, there will be more things that will be crossed off my bucket list. I think that it’s safe to say that I’m proud of how far I’ve come in the last year. It definitely wasn’t easy and at the end of 2013, I really wished that the new year would start already. Having the courage to live the life that you want is definitely going to be an ongoing challenge for me. But I will always have a reminder to be brave when things are tough, and knowing that having my family and friends by my side will ensure that I never feel alone.

Also, I have to thank Merissa; whenever times got tough, I knew I wasn't alone and her blogs are just inspiring to anyone who wants to challenge themselves.

“Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.- Ovid": Alix's Story

I met Alix at Paradise Comics about two years ago and we became good friends really quickly. She is a beautiful, tell-it-like-it-is, caring person. As you'll read below, she has a lot to deal with over the past couple of years, and her determination and strength really shine through in her piece. I am so impressed by what she was able to accomplish. I definitely don't think I could finish a 10k in the time she managed with an injured leg! I totally agree with what she said about bad days!

“Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.” - Ovid: 

It seems that everyone is doing some sort of challenge. 100 Days of  Happiness! 365 Photo- A- Day Challenge! 1 solid YEAR of challenges! It is impressive that so many people choose to challenge themselves every day. These challenges got me thinking maybe I should do one, or two, but I really didn't know where to begin. 

Perhaps it would be best to give you some background. I broke my foot in October 2012 and have been trying to get back into running at a competitive level ever since. After two fairly significant surgeries, my surgeon told me that I could run but it would be painful. I had the choice of running or not, but really it was a matter of how I was going to cope with my pain. Now, to be honest, I’m an extremely stubborn person, and that really didn't seem like a fair choice to me. I knew I would not be able to run a full marathon, and it will probably take me another 5 years to run a half marathon, but I decided my challenge was not to let my pain be an excuse to stop running, or doing things I love.

I decided I would start small. I thought a five-kilometer race would be the perfect starter race, but I couldn't find one. I was frustrated, ten kilometers seemed like too much, but it was all that was available. So, my first race was the Sporting Life 10k. Let me tell you, training for this was hard! Some days, in the beginning, I could not figure out if I was tired and my foot legitimately hurt, or I was being lazy.But I kept going; I kept running and probably did hurt my foot, even more, in the process. I gave up for a while and became discouraged. I kept reading Merissa’s blog posts and thought to myself, “This is ridiculous. You absolutely can do this, but you’re trying for too much too quickly.” It seemed silly to me that I didn't think of this right away, but I needed to do what I could, work on endurance and create a realistic goal for the race. Training began in earnest four months before the May race (and with no small amount of stubbornness to help me along).

My goal for the race was 1 hour and 30 minutes total time. I decided, it was a good goal, but I wanted to look at the smaller picture. Every week I chose a goal for my runs at the gym. For example, week one my goal was to do 5 km in an hour. Week two, my goal was 5 km in 59 minutes, etc.

I worked hard, and some weeks I failed, I felt discouraged and like my foot would never run the race. The weeks that I achieved my realistic goals, I felt elated and like I could do anything. Finally, race day came and I actually had butterflies I was so nervous. I started the race and noticed all these people running faster than me, running by me and I started bargaining with myself, “Ok, Alix, you can finish the race in two hours. I know you can do two hours… well actually maybe an hour and 50 minutes, you could do it in that time.” 

By the middle of the race, however, all those people who ran past me at the start were starting to lag and I was doing just fine. My final kilometer was the hardest (isn't it always?). My foot was cramping and about to give out when I saw it was the last kilometer. I am 100% positive sheer stubbornness was the reason I finished because I couldn't stop so close to the end. I limped, ran, speed walked and pep talked myself to the finish line. I ran my race and finished in 1 hour, 30 minutes and 40 seconds. I told my boyfriend I was happy; secretly, I was devastated. That extra 40 seconds really upset me, I wanted to be perfect. Even so, I checked out my time for my first 5 kilometers and realized I had finished it in 44 minutes flat. A good building block for my next 5 km race in October.

The extra seconds at the end of my race motivated me to work harder. I started planning my next race and created a goal for it. I did the 30 -Day AB challenge to increase my endurance and created small goals for myself. I've taken on a 30-Day Squat challenge (that is pure evil and makes me grumpy), and make sure I run 5 km at least twice a week. 

Every single challenge I do, I am driven by the fact that my foot still twinges and some days it can be uncomfortable to do anything. On those days, I do rest, but the rest of the time I work hard to complete the goals I have set for myself. But the best part of these challenges has been what they have taught me about myself! Small goals make everything achievable for me, patience is key, and working hard will pay off. The most important thing though is that it is absolutely okay to have a bad day.


Alix SMASH!!!

After watching everyone post their challenges on Facebook and blogs, after seeing so many people’s happiness and determination, it strikes me that no one talks about the bad days. The days you can’t continue. The days that hurt. I feel lucky to know that I have bad days, and more importantly, that I am okay with them. They make me appreciate the good ones even more!