"The only courage you ever need is the courage to live the life you want. - Oprah Winfrey": Tracy's Story

I met Tracy through a mutual friend of ours, Brendan. Over the past few months, I have watched her come out of her shell and take on challenges that leave me in awe. I am so happy to have gotten to know her and to have such an inspiring woman in my life. 

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"The only courage you ever need is the courage to live the life you want. - Oprah Winfrey": Tracy's Story

My lovely friend, Merissa, suggested I do a guest blog on her weekly challenges blog, and I kept postponing it. Not because I didn't think it’s a good idea; I couldn't figure out what challenge to even write about it. I didn't have weekly challenges and everything felt like it just gradually happened. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Nothing really stood out the same way as when I read Merissa’s blogs, where it felt like I was in awe at what she was able to accomplish. I knew I’d been challenging myself all year and I’d even been told so. So what would I even talk about? Running a 10k? Getting a tattoo? Swimming in Lake Ontario?

But as I hit the one-year mark of when everything started to change, I realized that the challenge I really gave myself, and I would have to quote Oprah Winfrey for this, is to have the courage to live the life you want. 

I made a resolution a year ago. I told myself that I would take a leap forward into the unknown to find something that works for me. Even if people didn't agree, I was still going to go after what I believe in and stand by it. I might end up with nothing or I might end up with everything, but at least I knew I tried my best and that’s all I can really ask of myself. I started going after the things I wanted and living life with no regret.  Putting complete faith and trust in myself and those around me, and rebuilding relationships that matter the most to me. Letting people in, no matter how scary that sounds. And what a difference it has made! For the first time in a long time, I know what it feels like to feel alive.

So what exactly did I decide to do? Well, I decided to pull out the old bucket list and just start crossing things off because I suddenly realized there was no reason I couldn't do these things now. There’s no one and nothing to stop me from accomplishing my goals.

•        Joining a gym/Running a 10k

 

I joined the gym simply because I was at a point where I just couldn’t sit at home anymore. I was antsy and when I stepped into the gym, I was pretty much intimidated by all the machines. So, I went with the good, old treadmill and just started running. I realized how much I missed running and I just kept running. It was my escape from my world, especially when I just started listening to music. This eventually led to me setting the Sporting Life 10k as my goal. It ended up being an amazing experience! I’m so glad that I did it and that my family showed up to support me. 

•          Getting my ears pierced

So, I finally decided to get my ears pierced for the first time, shortly before the end of 2013. I couldn't figu,re out why I haven’t already done it. I think it was mostly due to me thinking it would be painful. But one day on my day off for the holidays, I decided, 'Screw it! I am getting my ears pierced. I think I can handle the pain."

• Getting a tattoo 

I was proud of getting this tattoo and so thankful that the opportunity came when it did. Otherwise, I don’t think I would have had the courage to walk in there by myself. It sounds ironic, considering that my tattoo means 'brave' or 'courageous'. But it was a much needed reminder for myself to be brave when times are tough and to never lose sight of that feeling. 

• Learning how to ride a bike

I gotta thank my friend being patient. I don’t think I ever would have learned to ride a bike without that much needed assistance. I’ve tried twice before this and both times were basically disasters and made me never want to get on a bike again. I also pretty much had to give myself a pep talk every time I was alone and was trying to pedal on my own for two weeks. But I finally got it and can now start training for a triathlon.

• Swimming in Lake Ontario

I have always loved swimming and it was another thing I got back into this year. So, it was a tough pill to swallow when I tried to do the Toronto Island Lake Swim and couldn't finish the race because I was pretty sure I was going to get hypothermia and have to get someone to pull me out of the water. I had to call it a day but I was thankful that my family was there to support me. And while it was a failure, it made me realize that I need to know my limits and that I can always try again and start small and build my way up.

• Treetop trekking

This is always something that I wanted to do but  did not think I was fit enough to do. However, since I’ve been working out all year (or at least trying to), I figured I would give it a try when my friend suggested I go with her. It was definitely a challenge because I never thought I had good balance. So, imagine my reaction when the first thing I see when I get up there is a nice rope for me to walk on to get to the other side. It was fun though. I survived with a few bruises and a bruised ego, but I would definitely do this again.

• Travelling

One of the hardest things that I had to get used to was travelling on my own, but I was glad I did it. It gave me a sense of independence and made me realize that my feeling of being alone was silly. I can be happy on my own, have fun with my family and friends, and take pride in being independent and gaining new experiences.

In a nutshell, that’s what my year has been like and I know in the coming year, there will be more things that will be crossed off my bucket list. I think that it’s safe to say that I’m proud of how far I’ve come in the last year. It definitely wasn’t easy and at the end of 2013, I really wished that the new year would start already. Having the courage to live the life that you want is definitely going to be an ongoing challenge for me. But I will always have a reminder to be brave when things are tough, and knowing that having my family and friends by my side will ensure that I never feel alone.

Also, I have to thank Merissa; whenever times got tough, I knew I wasn't alone and her blogs are just inspiring to anyone who wants to challenge themselves.